Mum Friends Are So Important
I had my first daughter, Willow, in 2018. I had no mum friends and I needed to find my mum tribe. I heard motherhood can be lonely and when my husband went back to work I understood why. The night feeds took their toll and I felt like all I did was feed, sleep, feed, sleep – I was exhausted by my new routine. My dad discussed this with me and told me to go out and make some mum friends. Willow was 4 weeks old and I couldn’t drive yet, as I was still recovering from a C-Section, so I was brave and took the pram on the bus for the first time. It was nerve-racking but I did it!
I only went to the local shopping centre but it felt wonderful to be out and about. My health visitor had recommended a Bookbug class in the library, which was a class to take children up to 3 years to sing nursery rhymes and read books but best thing of all was to interact with other mums.
The lady who hosted Bookbug was amazing! Her name was Rhona, she was great with the children and made us all laugh. On my first visit I got chatting with the mum next to me and she recommended a class called Baby Sensory, also in East Kilbride. I asked her what day and time and as soon as I got home I enrolled Willow in her first class.
I cannot recommend Baby Sensory enough. There is so much sensory play for babies and even time to chat with other mums. Honestly, sometimes I can’t believe I was so open talking about leaky nipples with a woman. I had no idea what her name was but I knew her baby’s name.
Find Your Tribe
I also took Willow to Baby Massage which was so useful for gassy babies. I got talking with two other mums and mentioned the Bookbug class and asked if they fancied going. If I am honest it was difficult to ask them but I told myself the worst thing they could say was no. Thankfully, they were excited, especially about the coffee afterwards!
While we were there, we got talking with another couple of mums who I knew from our antenatal class. We invited them to join us for coffee. The last of our mum friends was from the massage class, but she sat across the room so we never really spoke apart from the odd “hello”. We saw her in Bookbug and suggested coffee. She agreed and we have been the Bookbug Mummies ever since. Going to Costa was the best part – sometimes we sat there for over an hour discussing anything and everything. We all look back fondly on this time, when we were on maternity leave, and we all keep in regular contact.
I had my second daughter, Ember, in October 2020. I was 7 weeks pregnant at the start of the first lockdown. Since I worked from home it was just me and Willow during isolation. That was such a tough and lonesome time; I used to have a class or visit my mum, or mum friends, almost every day of the week and it had suddenly changed to not seeing anyone apart from grandparents, waving through the window.
When Ember was 6 months old the world started to open up again. The first class I took her to was Baby Sensory. It was lovely to be able to chat with mums again and I was able to feel like my old self.
How To Make Mum Friends
This is the best advise I can give: Go to a class, get chatting, go for a coffee. Most mums are lovely and they want to make friends, just like you. You will have so much in common with another mum because we are all going through the same thing. Motherhood is challenging, rewarding, tiring, breathtaking, demanding, inspiring; the list really does go on. The pandemic has made it hard to meet people but classes are starting to open again; it is the best place to meet mums and do you know what the best opener to a conversation is? A cute little outfit!